Kale's blog

Will-o'-the-wisp, where's that wrinkle in time?

Fear, and That Which Comes After

Not everyone gets to experience real fear. To be so uncertain whether the next day will still come. To be in the dark as to what happens in the next moment.

While I have touched it once, I know what I have experienced isn’t the epitome of fear. Neither was it my own personal greatest fear, nor is it the world’s. It was but a glimpse of what can be much worse.

I can’t pretend to know what I fear most. However, I know for a fact that such a night was not what it is. Nevertheless, that night did happen.

We all had to move on from that event. There was nothing else to. While we all might have brought a shadow of it with us, we had to realise that something had to come after it.

One of them, something that can grow from fear: courage.

I don’t exactly know what it is, but I once heard someone say:

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important that fear.”

I didn’t readily believe him then. Of course, he was merely reciting lines from a script adapted from a book. Somehow, the words rang true but, at the same time… Something else.

Haven’t we always been taught that those with real courage are the fearless ones? They live and walk the world bravely for they are not afraid of anything. They are able to move and breathe freely for they know that they can conquer anything that comes their way.

They fear nothing.

Now, I couldn’t say the same. The things we are taught are rarely the ones that we can live with in this world. We have to learn the better part ourselves and learn them fast before the world can take us.

As I recall that fateful night from a year ago, I have come to the realisation that true courage, indeed, does not mean the absence of fear. Those who fear nothing can never be truly brave.

Perhaps, all they could ever do is live in the illusion of fearlessness.

I can’t call myself truly courageous. Not just yet. I stumble and fall and cower. However, now I can truly say that the admission, acknowledgement and acceptance of fear is the beginning of courage.

What comes after will never be for me to decide, but I know it will be for the better.

Quoted from The Princess Diaries

Have to, Need to, Want to

I used to think that the desires of humans can only be one of two things: want or need. Those two, and nothing else.

However, as I continue to live and learn, I’ve come to realise that, as with many other things which people expect there to be only two things, there is a third kind: have.

This have doesn’t speak of ownership of a particular object. Otherwise, there wouldn’t exist any form of desire for such.

This have speaks of an external force compelling a person to do or obtain something. Which means, this is done mostly out of a lack of free will*.

On the other hand, those things that people want to do are motivated by internal desires. They are created and driven from within. They are rooted on free will*.

The needs are those which straddle the line between the have and the want. Needs speak of necessities which humans cannot live without: air, water, food…

Forget Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. In today’s world, this theory is arguably obsolete.

Needs are motivated by an internal compulsion. They are those which are done out of a force from within which compels a person to action. It is internal and yet it is a compulsion.

Ultimately, haves are those which a thinking person would never want to be subjected under for humans, throughout the ages, have shown that they always think as if the world should bend to their will. Or at least, that’s what thousands of years of history written with war in just about every page tells.

In the end, though, people are always compelled, unable to do anything besides what the world around them dictates. Most continue to live under the fantasy that they are personally responsible for all their actions and no one can tell them anything.

The fair few, the victorious, are those who have learnt to accept circumstance, known the words to make the rhyme, and danced to the song of the spirit of the world.

* Free will is, of course, as I have surmised is what we call this particular illusion. http://kairoskale.wordpress.com/2011/10/07/truth-simple-truth/

Contentment, Or a Lack Thereof

“The happiest man on earth would be able to use the Mirror of Erised like a normal mirror, that is, he would look into it and see himself exactly as he is.”

- Albus Dumbledore on the Mirror of Erised*

Contentment.

It’s that one thing that people most yearn for all their lives yet few ever attain it.

Those who ever do find them for all different sorts of reasons. Some find it when they have achieved their dreams. Some attain it once they find that one thing they’ve lost and would give everything to have back.

Some are most fortunate for they find contentment simply by living the life they have been blessed with. They are those who seek nothing more but to live a full life and die with the knowledge that their brief time on earth wasn’t wasted.

Contentment brings with it a lot of things. One can have a profound sense of peace, tranquillity and serenity. One can sleep at night confident that even if the sun never rises again, such wouldn’t trouble their hearts.

Most, however, fall through life never experiencing any of that. Some even live a life without ever feeling a real sense of happiness even for the briefest period possible.

Everyone knows that. Yet everyone continues to search for that one thing that could make them live a life of true happiness.

It is rather sad but some, if not most, of these searches are futile for it is none other than human nature that one must fight if one is ever to find contentment. Few could even stand up against it.

Human nature has never really changed throughout the millennia of human history. Humans have always had two things for them: the good and the bad. And, people always chosen the bad. It’s easier and for the moment, it works. And, for some, that is enough.

The bad includes a lot of things. And all these things humans have carried over generations. This includes covetousness.

It’s part of human nature and it is that one thing that keeps humans from ever being truly content.

At one point in someone’s life, a person would say, “I’d never be happier once I achieve this.” However, when the time comes that that same person attains that particular wish, that same person would find a new course and say, “This is not enough, I could have more.”

Humans always want more, more, and more. Nothing is ever enough. Humans covet and few ever find a way out of it.

Those who do?

Those are the ones who are truly more than blessed for they are the only ones who ever really live life.

* From J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone

The Mirror of Erised shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts… However, this mirror will give us neither knowledge nor truth. Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible.”