Not everyone gets to experience real fear. To be so uncertain whether the next day will still come. To be in the dark as to what happens in the next moment.
While I have touched it once, I know what I have experienced isn’t the epitome of fear. Neither was it my own personal greatest fear, nor is it the world’s. It was but a glimpse of what can be much worse.
I can’t pretend to know what I fear most. However, I know for a fact that such a night was not what it is. Nevertheless, that night did happen.
We all had to move on from that event. There was nothing else to. While we all might have brought a shadow of it with us, we had to realise that something had to come after it.
One of them, something that can grow from fear: courage.
I don’t exactly know what it is, but I once heard someone say:
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important that fear.”
I didn’t readily believe him then. Of course, he was merely reciting lines from a script adapted from a book. Somehow, the words rang true but, at the same time… Something else.
Haven’t we always been taught that those with real courage are the fearless ones? They live and walk the world bravely for they are not afraid of anything. They are able to move and breathe freely for they know that they can conquer anything that comes their way.
They fear nothing.
Now, I couldn’t say the same. The things we are taught are rarely the ones that we can live with in this world. We have to learn the better part ourselves and learn them fast before the world can take us.
As I recall that fateful night from a year ago, I have come to the realisation that true courage, indeed, does not mean the absence of fear. Those who fear nothing can never be truly brave.
Perhaps, all they could ever do is live in the illusion of fearlessness.
I can’t call myself truly courageous. Not just yet. I stumble and fall and cower. However, now I can truly say that the admission, acknowledgement and acceptance of fear is the beginning of courage.
What comes after will never be for me to decide, but I know it will be for the better.
Quoted from The Princess Diaries